Sally,
BarkRite, and the Fortune Cookie

by Richard Kendall

Sally was a very talented actress, and while confident in her acting abilities, she had little confidence when it came to making decisions. As a result, she was always running to psychics for answers. Sally would become particularly agitated when questions arose concerning her career, and on those occasions it was not unusual for her to consult with two or three psychics before taking any action. One Sunday morning Sally received a call from her agent regarding a television commercial she had auditioned for earlier in the week. He was pleased to inform her that from a large pool of actresses she was the one chosen to introduce to the world a new brand of dog food called BarkRite. While not exactly the kind of part an actor dreams of, commercials could prove quite lucrative, and exposure in the entertainment business was vital to furthering one’s career. This type of a decision was a no-brainer, and Sally told her agent to call back the BarkRite folks and tell them whenever they were ready to start shooting she would be available. An added plus was the fact that the commercial was going to be shot in New York City not far from where Sally lived, so it was one of those instances where everything seemed to fall into place. But as they say, the plot thickens.

Later that week there was a message on Sally’s answering machine. It was from her agent, and all he would say was that he had some REALLY BIG NEWS. Sally called back immediately. The news was that through one of his contacts on the west coast he was able to arrange an audition for her; but this time we weren’t talking about a dog food commercial. This was an audition for a major motion picture! Though the part would be relatively small, even a minor appearance in a major motion picture could jump-start one’s career. Her agent also found out that the only other actress being seriously considered for the part kept pushing for a bigger role, in the process creating friction between herself and the producer. Sally was just about to shout hooray, the word resting on the very tip of her tongue, when she realized there was just one little hitch. The audition for the movie was scheduled for the same day that the dog food commercial was slated to begin. While it would be possible to call the people at BarkRite and explain the situation to them, Sally was afraid that if she asked them to postpone shooting for even one day, they might decide to replace her with someone else. She knew from experience that filming schedules were not to be tampered with lightly. Her gut feeling was to go to California and audition for the movie, but Sally had little faith in her own instincts.

The next morning before her coffee had even finished brewing, Sally was busy on the phone setting up appointments with no less than four psychics. Relying on just one for such an important decision didn’t seem wise. She posed the same question to each of them before they began: Should she shoot the BarkRite commercial as originally planned, or should she go to California and audition for the movie?

Angela, the first psychic Sally visited, used ordinary playing cards to do her readings. When she turned over the Jack of Spades who faces east, Angela said this was a clear indication that the best course of action would be to stay close to the east coast and follow through with the BarkRite commercial. Tony, the next psychic Sally consulted, worked with tea leaves. Tony told her the way the leaves were extending toward the edges of the teacup meant that venturing outward would produce favorable results, and encouraged her to go to California and audition for the movie. So the score was now tied: BarkRite: 1, California Audition, 1. Next up was Paula, who specialized in astrology. Paula pointed out that with Mars moving into Pisces and Saturn coming within one degree orb of her Moon, travel at this time should definitely be avoided. The psychic scoreboard now read BarkRite: 2, California Audition, 1.

Maria, the last psychic on Sally’s list worked with Tarot cards. Maria shuffled the cards like an expert poker dealer and placed them face down on the table in front of her. Sally held her breath as Maria reached down very slowly, as if some divine influence was directing her hand, guiding it through some invisible tunnel that only Maria had access to. One could almost feel the tension in Sally’s body as Maria started to turn over the card that, in Sally’s mind, might hold within its four corners the entire fate of her acting career. The card Maria turned over was the Eight of Wands. This card displays the ship Argo in full sail, signifying an auspicious time for travel. The score was now deadlocked: BarkRite: 2, California Audition: 2, with Sally stuck in the middle.

Later that evening Sally went out with friends for Chinese food. As she broke open her fortune cookie her heart raced a bit; perhaps the fortune cookie might provide the definitive answer and break the 2‐2 tie.

The fortune cookie contained the following message: “Now is a good time to trust your own instincts.” Great, Sally sarcastically thought to herself; I’m in desperate need of an answer and this is what I get. After a few days of agonizing over which way to go, she decided to stick close to home and do the BarkRite commercial. So that was that. Well… not quite.

The night before the BarkRite commercial was to be shot, Sally’s agent called sounding totally frantic. He was speaking so fast it took a minute or two to piece together the details but the bottom line was this: The actress who was up for the part Sally was going to audition for had a falling out with the producer and they parted company. If Sally was willing to fly out to California tonight, or tomorrow morning at the latest, the producer would still let her audition for the part. While it was not one hundred percent guaranteed she would get it, circumstances were very much pointing in that direction.

So what did Sally do? Since you were curious enough to ask I will tell you. Sally did not fly out to the coast that evening, or the next day, or any other day for that matter. She was simply too stressed out to make travel arrangements to go anywhere. However, she did appear in the BarkRite commercial and earned a tidy sum of money for her efforts, though the commercial itself did little to advance her career. The movie was an entirely different story. Nominated for five Academy Awards, the publicity surrounding the movie was massive. Local media clamored to interview anyone and everyone involved. In fact, the actress that played the part that Sally had the chance to audition for was offered a much larger part in the producer’s next movie. And regarding that little message in the fortune cookie about trusting one’s own instincts, those words fell on deaf ears. Like a silent messenger whose voice was never heard, a great opportunity on many levels was sadly lost.

It is often said that a short time after eating Chinese food one is hungry again. I have no idea where or how this concept originated, and also don’t know whether the same applies to eating a bowl of BarkRite. But what I do know is that Sally’s hunger for seeking answers from others never abated, ensuring that the bank accounts of the psychics she went to would be full for a very long time.