Being On Track

by Sharon Mendenhall

Track Race

I’m so excited that I’m still out of breath. I just had to write and tell you, in case you missed it. Hold on, I have to catch my breath.

Anyway, I just came from the Company Picnic. I was over in the Zuli Family compound, because I felt like being Zuli today. There’s a track there, over behind the playground. Well, I got involved in an impromptu foot race. Why I am so excited is because I, yes, I won! I just can hardly believe it, because I’m not a real athletic person by nature. I challenged myself, and it just feels so good right now.

Approval was there, and I was a little worried about that, because Approval has those long legs, and I figured she could probably run real fast. She was being real approving, like she is, coming over and telling me how cute I looked, and stuff like that. Of course, she had on a form fitting silk outfit in the Zuli Family colors. That bitch even had on purple lipstick, with matching fingernail polish.

Then I noticed Trust over in the sidelines, checking her hair in that little compact mirror that hangs from a chain around her neck. So I went over and got Trust, and took her to the starting block right next to Approval, and sure enough, they started talking about manicures. Then I wasn’t quite so concerned about Approval getting the jump on me, because she would be worried about breaking one of those expensive long fingernails on the starting block. Pretty clever of me huh?

Encouragement showed up in her sweats, and wanted to be next to Approval. So I moved over one, and let her have my starting block. I mean she’s like a movie star, and I wanted to be close just in case she said something.

Acceptance was there in full regalia. I don’t know where she got that outfit, much less the nerve to wear it. But take a clue from me, you never want to laugh at Acceptance, even if she has own some stupid scarf tying back her hair. Acceptance and I are pretty good friends now, although I’m pretty careful about what I say to her. She’s so smart, it’s still a little scary to me, and I’m not sure when she’ll fly off the handle and do that PMS thing she does. She selected the starting block next to me, and winked at me, so I understood that signified she was going to give me a fighting chance. I’m starting to interpret those visual clues she gives.

Faith wasn’t there, and I asked Trust about that. She said Faith was busy over at the Magic Show being the magician’s assistant and passing the hat, and that she felt bad about not being able to come, but would be there in faith, lending support.

Prosperity was there too, but didn’t want to race. She decided to hand out the prize. Which I won, by the way. She gives good prizes too, and I do dearly love that child.

We were a little worried about not having anybody to blow the whistle to start the race. But Prosperity went over and got Fear, because Fear is always around in some capacity. It’s nice being able to give Fear something useful to do, because most of the time the rest of us try to avoid him like the black plague. Fear is not so bad, once you really get to know him, he’s just doing his job. And he really likes it when we are accepting of him. I guess he likes hanging around the girls.

So Fear blew the whistle, and I was pumping my arms like you couldn’t believe. I think my kneecaps were slapping my chin, and I didn’t have time to pay attention to the rest of the group, because I was too busy trying to stay out front. In fact nothing else existed for me, but running the race. I was totally in the moment. And when it was all done, I felt so good, not because I had won, and got the big wazoo prize. It was just because I had participated.

If you saw me running that race, please call. I already know I performed extraordinarily, but Admiration is here with me now, and I’m afraid that as soon as she leaves, I’m going to need to talk with someone else.

Fear

Since I got on the subject of Fear, I might as well tell you about him, because it seems like he’s always hanging around. Everywhere I go, I turn around and look over my shoulder, and there’s Fear. That was real unnerving the first two uphill trimesters of my life, but now that I on the downhill side, coasting, I’ve come to terms with Fear somewhat. I know you’re not going to believe this, but Fear is just a bully. Fear is actually more scared than you are.

Fear does change a lot, and he really likes costumes. He loves to put on a scary mask and knock on your back door, so when you open it, he can say, “Boo!” But that’s just a Halloween prank to him too, because he’s more of a shapeshifter than you realize. You may have thought you scared him away, but Fear stayed around and built an entire wall around your house, and you don’t even recognize it. (I mean that housing you call your body.)

The reason Fear keeps hanging around is to watch you bump into that invisible wall all the time. Then he looks just like the bully kid on the Little Rascals, the one that laughs out loud every time something terrible happens to Spanky and Alfalfa. Now that you know about Fear, there are two ways to handle him.

First, the next time you see Fear hanging around in your back yard, march right out there and grab him by the earlobe, and just give him hell. Demand that he start tearing that invisible wall down, like pronto! And then stand there and watch him. I mean really watch him, because at first he will go over and just pretend like he’s tearing the wall down, but since you can’t see the invisible wall, you don’t really know. As soon as you get distracted, that’s Fear’s cue to run away and hide. But he’ll be back, guaranteed.

When that first method becomes a drill, you may think of calling Fear’s mom, and telling her that you really don’t like Fear’s cosmic joke. But if you can even get a hold of Fear’s mom you’re going to be lucky. She’s usually down at the local bar drinking beer and picking up men. And Fear’s mom doesn’t really care what Fear does, which is probably why Fear feels so neglected and unloved.

Here’s the method that actually works. The next time you see Fear in your backyard, march right out there and grab him, and embrace him. He won’t be expecting that. Then invite him in for some chocolate milk and cookies. Toll House are his favorite, with lots of chocolate chips and no walnuts. He’s allergic to walnuts.

Must people think Fear is a massive burly man that you have to challenge, but he’s really just an unloved and misunderstood little boy. He’ll keep coming back, guaranteed, but he’ll knock on your backdoor with hat in hand, politely asking if it’s all right for him to come in and chat for a while.

“Excuse me Ma’am, do you have anymore of those cookies?”

“Why sure Fear, come on in.”