Abandoning
The Victim Mentality

by Tracy Marshall

Just minutes after reading an unexpected headline in the newspaper “Abandon The Victim Mentality,” I broke a tooth. What did I create that for? I wondered.

I went to the mirror and realized that the broken tooth on the top corresponded exactly to the patch the dental hygenist had done on a filling on the lower one a couple of days previously. The repair patch was a bit too high, and the hygenist hadn’t done a bite check afterwards. In fact, I’d noticed at the time but foolishly didn’t mention it, and of course my first reaction was to blame her for the broken tooth.

When I called the dentist, the receptionist explained how busy they were, and how difficult it would be to fit me in. “Even though it’s your fault?” I heard myself ask, and immediately recalled the newspaper headline “Abandon The Victim Mentality”.

During the drive to the dentist’s I mentally ran through all manner of possible scenarios, arguments and counter-attacks. I did, however, keep noticing the energy I was projecting, and repeatedly interrupted it — I even stopped for a few minutes in the elevator to change my energy somewhat before I went in, determined to project energy of cooperation and ease, rather than confrontational blame.

The receptionist and I had a pleasant conversation about mutual friends and I was seen by the dentist right away.

I wasn’t expecting to have to pay for it, as I still felt that the hygienist had been to blame — but I kept recalling the newspaper headline “Abandon The Victim Mentality”. I know I create my own reality, after all!

The receptionist whispered to me that she didn’t think there would be any charge, but the dentist decided I had to pay, but would get a discount.

“Abandon The Victim Mentality” was still ringing in my ears, so I didn’t argue and paid the money. It felt good in a way, as if I was taking responsibility for creating the broken tooth; not being a victim, and not blaming someone else. Creating the discount was a nice touch, adding energy of cooperation, and kept me on the right track. It also mollified any lingering victim feelings.

Breaking that tooth wasn’t such a bad thing after all.