Catching Cupid

by Gozen’s Love

Love.

Romantic love.

The kind of feeling you get when you first meet someone, flirt with them, think of them non-stop and want to spend all your time with them, is said to be fleeting and temporary.

I’ve heard the words “Such a thing is not meant to last”. For many, the dilemma in romance isn’t so much catching Cupid, but keeping him in reach once caught. Or maybe it’s not so much Cupid himself that we’ve been catching, but his arrows instead. Either way, we come right back to the perception that the intensity of passion and excitement found within the prospects of a new love isn’t long-lasting.

This is something so many of us have come to accept as the reality of the matter.
I say, we go directly to the heart of the situation, as Cupid’s arrows would. It’s only there, in the inner sanctums of our heart-of-hearts that we may search for insights as to why romance can be fleeting. Many have given up on fairytale love due to one heartache or another. It’s this surrendering that leads me to think that maybe, during the course of a relationship, each person becomes relaxed and more comfortable in not trying so hard as they may have in the beginning. See, I feel that the slacking off or fading of the initial thrill is directly connected to this relaxing in becoming more comfortable and familiar with our significant others. Some become so familiar with their lover that the lover begins to blend into the routine and fall away into the familiar surroundings.

Some, not all, start to lose interest when one grows too comfortable. Some start to take what they have for granted and fall into that trap of no longer appreciating (fully) the other and what they contribute as they had earlier. At times, after the relaxation and comfort sets in, the desire to express like in the beginning can rise to the surface, but depending on the state of the relationship after time, can lead to a filter through any experiences that may have been rocky and negative. This may lead to a disinterest or may surface, yet take a different form: one of anger, fighting, as well as other “negative” expressions. The intensity may still be there in these cases, yet appear in a form unlike the intitial passionate excitement.

Easing into this relaxing with your partner, as I see it, requires a balance. I believe that it’s more than possible and practical that one can maintain that intensity of chemistry and connection with your partner regardless of the influence of passing years.

A hopeless romantic till the end?

You can bet on it.

Having examined a few of the motivations and reasons for the fading of that fresh, new excitement at starting a relationship, we can more accurately understand how we can prolong or renew that spark of an intense, intimate love. You can relax, yet still inspire that romance that so many don’t believe possible. It’s a matter of trying to stay in the moment and not so much occupy your attention with things that aren’t directly influencing the moment. Once your attention drifts, those passionate, romantic yearnings can become covered over, ignored, recessed, or may be channelled into other, different areas of expressing. The intensity and experience is there, though many forget how to bring that screaming into the present —leaving those feelings locked within a distance of time and memory, lost to fantasies of yesterday…

Paying attention, genuinely to your partner and conversations, experiences, taking the time to evaluate your interests and do something together even if it’s once a week, may just bring your attention to the moment, to your partner, and unclog those channels and remove the filters that redirect those intense feelings to allow them to emerge, invigorating you each with passionate excitement and intrigue once again. Find something new to do together, create things to explore and discover in new ways, even, than those you know. This may bring out things in yourself and in your partner that may very well trigger that fresh, new feeling you had in the beginning of your relationship. The power of discovery and venturing into the uknown together is a part of that thrill many neglect or didn’t pay attention to why they felt that thrill the first time around. Once its gone, some don’t understand what it was while it was present, that they don’t know what to look for or how to get that back or create it again.

When we fall into love, so many of us don’t pay attention to what we may have tripped over or where we were at before finding the fall to love. Maybe it’s the search for Cupid that keeps us from seeing exactly what is right

under

our noses in this perfect present.

And

Maybe, if we are continuing to believe this “phase” of love to be fleeting and swiftly escaping, then it becomes no surprise that Cupid remains just out of reach…