It’s a Small World Afterall

by Jan Ramsey-Hart

In light of that Wispy, ephemeral substance we call experience, I would like to recount a story from a few years ago.

I had been introduced to online Seth Groups via Yahoo and was getting pretty comfortable with the whole Seth and Elias internet community. Realizing that there were more Seth Books available I began looking for them at stores and was a little disappointed they were being offered exclusively from the publisher; realistically I couldn’t justify $350 for the books, not even as an investment, so I began my quest elsewhere.

After a quick search on Google, elsewhere turned out to be eBay when a search for Jane Roberts yielded an auction about to close with 12-14 Seth and Jane books, including the poetry book Dialogues of the Soul and Mortal Self in Time and a purple paper back edition of Seth Speaks. I set up my account in a hurry, placed my bid and watched anxiously as the next two hours inexorably dragged on and on.
In the end, when nobody else placed a bid, I won the whole shebang! I was so excited!
What a success for my first eBay transaction!

I made the purchase with my bank card and was pleased with how easy it was to wrap it up with a PayPal exchange. I later checked my bank for the transaction and no monies had been exchanged; I checked again the next day and still no monies had been withdrawn. I wrote the women, asking if she’d received my information and she never replied. I wrote personal e-mails and eBay messages to her, and she never answered any of them. I was frantic! I wanted those books! Almost a week went by and still no monies were withdrawn, and I hadn’t heard from the seller about the books either! This was in the early weeks of October 2005, and after another week went by, I let it go: c’est la vie.

Fast forward to little more then five months later.

My second opportunity to meet several friends from all over the world because of online sources occurred in Castaic, CA during the St Paddy’s Day weekend of March 2006 with Mary Ennis and Elias. We flooded the hotels of Castaic, making a ritual of meeting for coffee and chatter at a young woman’s room at the Castaic Hotel named Britta.

Britta is a most boisterous and intriguing woman who is very well read, opinionated, courageous and, as can be seen later, strong. We’d met in a small IM chat group and hit it off pretty well becoming friends through these meetings and other personal interactions for about six months. In all this time we had exchanged stories, done remote views, shared impressions of aspects and just chatted. With so many from this online chat group gathered together in Castaic the energy was exhilarating as we were finally face to face!

As often happens at these get-togethers, nobody wants to call it a night until they are rebounding off the walls, knocking drinks over and sleepwalking into corners. The third bump in the shin generally leads to a nocturnal migration of visitors as people reluctantly navigate their ways back to their rooms! I am of the opinion this social behavior stems from a natural apprehension of not wanting to miss something, so you try to absorb every second spent together and digest the experience later! It was late Friday night and the group session was the next day, and as people reluctantly fell prey to the spell of Morpheus, only Britta and I remained. We continued swapping stories, and eventually began discussing our most drastic and unique challenges: me telling her of growing the equivalent of a second heart in my uterus; her telling me she went to the hospital for treatment of an undiagnosed coagulating blood malady and woke up 6 weeks later sans her leg beneath the knee.

We are both, to put it mildly, amazed at the creativity of our challenges and begin a discussion based on an expanded sense of Self. Elaborating on this term from my personal glossary may be trite, especially within a group of people who are familiar with the work of Jane Roberts specifically, and many others generically, but here goes. An expanded sense of Self is the conscious knowledge that you are One-In-Many; one Soul in many times, places and spaces. If this is truly an everyday consciously applied thought, then applying a larger, wider, more comprehensive symbolic rationale to situations and experiences often works better to understand events and event overlays then trying to “logically” make sense of an otherwise seemingly illogical event. An expanded sense of Self literally broadens an individual’s perceptual horizon.

I can’t speak for Britta, or her ruminations about why she’s experienced what she has and is experiencing, or about adapting to life without that portion of her leg and foot, but I can elaborate on my current opinion of what occurred with me encapsulated within the rationale of (what I consider) a more integrated sense of Self. I confessed to Britta that I had been confused about my life, in spite of blazing passions that seemed to burn within me, and I felt my peculiar physical situation was somehow the result of living in two worlds and quite literally trying to follow two paths with heart.

For years I’d traveled with a group of people who’d followed their interpretation of the Seth Material. As time went on I realized I wanted to go back to school and at the age of 26 decided to aim for a degree in geology. In my quietest moments I would dream about (re)discovering new sciences; I would become a conscious dreamer and meld that specialized awareness with my brand of geology and oceanography! The concept made a lot of inner sense to me, and before I realized what was happening, I began dreaming of earth-sciences, experiencing different forms of pressure from locales deep within the earth, different biology’s from the familiar human and physics that were not Newtonianly physical in the manner I’d been taught.

This passion combined with education led to top marks, and before I knew it I’d been nominated for the position of academic peer tutor at Pacific Lutheran University . Clinching the nomination I taught, tutored and read text to tape for all upper division earth science courses. While still a junior I was offered a full time (40-hour/wk) student position as a Hydrologic Technician with the United States Geological Survey-Water Resources Division. Within four months of graduating with a BS in Geology Cum Laude, I was employed in the realm of private practice mining consultation doing coal surveys for building projects and managing two highly productive silica mines in the foothills of the Cascade Mountains .

This was all fine and good for me, for it seemed as if I was on a path with heart. Ironically, as soon as I started experiencing “bureaucracy” at the USGS I began to bleed heavily. I was so excited to be “educated” and was looking forward to exploring and contributing my two cents on projects, but was always told ‘not yet’. After working for the USGS for about two months, a totally cushioned job with a great Federal benefits package, my feminine bleeding got a lot worse.

After working there for 9 months I was basically bleeding heavily for 21-28 days, and not bleeding for a week or less. Basically I sat at a desk all day long and entered data. When I spoke of working on modeling projects I was told the mathematics in the spreadsheet was too complex for me to know what to do. If my data was entered and there was nothing else for me to do I didn’t check out, because that would indicate that they didn’t need a full time student worker, so I would read and study whatever I found interesting. I learned a lot, but by the time I figured out what it would take to be a scientist in their fields instead of a technician, I realized it wasn’t something I wanted to participate in because I had never been good at bureaucracy.

When the firm called I was offered a job at double my current salary with full benefits, something I didn’t have the pleasure of at the USGS because I was technically a student. Taking the job it was only 3 months before I was driving a nicer car, making more money then I had ever thought possible and attending meetings with city council members, property owners and mine developers! The schmoozing was the key to advancement, the clubs, the charities, the trips. All necessary to make a name for yourself, and I dove into it with gusto!

Within two months I was losing so much blood in a day that I had to sit down or I couldn’t breathe; I could saturate two super tampons and a king size pad in about ten minutes. All this time I never once went to a doctor for assistance rationalizing that I was getting older and older meant heavier periods. After all, I’d had children ages ago, wasn’t going to get pregnant again. Just a new physiological phase of my body… after all a lot of women had heavy periods… what an easy rationalization!’

One day I began a full blown hemorrhage.

In less then a minute I lost over a quart of blood. My chest began to tighten and started acting out of phase. I was so frightened I jumped up and started slamming myself against the wall to get my heart back in pattern. After it was beating normally I called my mom and my friend Cayce to tell them I was scared. They basically played tag team, and I was still on the phone when there was a knock at the door and it was the medics with an ambulance.

I was so internally confused, I didn’t know if I wanted to believe I create my reality anymore, but identifying the symbols in my life hidden within irrational emotional flashes I realized I wasn’t happy as a full-time mine-manager. I wasn’t happy with my decision to merge and accept the establishment, so even before going through radical angioplasty and an emergency hysterectomy, I had begun re-reading Seth books and Jane Roberts books, and almost instantly pulled my head out of my arse!

When I awoke from surgery I knew I had to make a decision. Either A) follow the path I was on as a working soon to be gung ho Republican, or I could forget all that and focus on what truly brings me joy. And for all I loved geology, actually working as a geologist took all my passion away!

Britta then began to explain to me a very similar sort of mind set and that recalling Seth and Jane Roberts after losing her lower leg inspired her to seek out books available. In her searches she mentions this woman on eBay who had 12-14 books by Jane Roberts for sale, including a purple soft back edition and copies of Dialogues of the the Soul and Mortal Self in Time!

— Huh?
— Britta? Could you repeat that please?
— So, there was this woman in Florida …
— Uh-huh, I thought that is what you said.

The bottom line?

Sometimes there is a greater need in our lives, and I am of the opinion Britta had a greater need than I. Yep. Britta won the books from the lady in Florida , who informed her that the woman in Seattle who originally bought them disappeared, wigged out, whatever, but she never got the books. So Britta offered her a Buy It Now price and won the same Jane Roberts and Seth Books I had bid on and won.

Now, I guess if I were sour grapes I would hold it against her for taking my books, lol! But the bottom line is that we do create our reality, this world is a lot smaller then we think it is, and we are intimately connected.

For all the talking me and Britta did in the six months prior to meeting she had never mentioned winning the package, nor had I ever mentioned losing it!